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Sep 15, 20203 min read

Bernie and Bertie (Serial Killers Need Love Too) by Mike Owens is a Fall Into Bookathon pick #romcom



Title: Bernie & Bertie (Serial Killers Need Love Too)

Author: Mike Owens

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Book Blurb:

They looked alike, dressed alike, shared the same food preferences, finished one another’s sentences. What were the chances that, in a world where opposites attract and likes repel, two people so similar in every way, including their successful careers as serial killers, would meet, fall in love and form one of the deadliest duos ever? Bernie and Bertie did just that, and this is their story.

Excerpt:

There was a lot of smoke in that old VW bus, the one with all the psychedelic swirls painted on the sides, the one where Bernie Mitchell’s hippie parents would perish. Part of the smoke came from the newly-rolled highly-potent reefer his parents were sharing, but most of it came from the fire that Bernie set using gasoline-soaked rags. Not his fault, though, he had to do it. A guy could only take so much.

Many years and many killings later, when he discovered his doppelganger, Bertie, a successful serial killer in her own right, it was like meeting the female version of himself. Their methods and motivations were slightly different, but they were so alike they instantly knew more about each other than most couples do after years together.

There was no need to share their personal histories of murders and mayhem; it was all understood from the start. Well, misunderstood, rather, because they were blameless. “We’re like a little Justice League,” Bertie said after they’d dropped another body into the ravine. “We do what has to be done.”

But bliss is a fleeting thing, isn’t it? After a couple of cozy years and several more killings, the ties that bound them frayed a bit, and their paths began to diverge. Bernie launched into a new venture of organic farming which led to an alliance with a church group which led to feelings that maybe he wasn’t such a freak after all, just a regular guy doing regular things.

Of course, Bertie had something to say about that. “We’re not regular people, Bernie, never have been, never will be.”

Meanwhile she’d begun writing a novel based on their lives including detailed descriptions of their homicidal misdeeds. “I always wanted to be famous,” she said. “You know, go out with a bang, like Bonnie and Clyde.”

Bernie objected. He had no desire to go out at all, banging or otherwise. The characters on the cover of Bertie’s book had blonde hair instead of the greasy black mops that topped off both Bernie and Bertie, but the disguise seemed flimsy, and it wouldn’t take a Sherlock Holmes to eventually follow the bloody path to their door. Bernie saw only one possible outcome; his partner had to go. Unfortunately, Bertie had reached the same conclusion.

Buy Links (including Goodreads and BookBub):


What’s your favorite thing about the Fall season:

Fall is by far my favorite season. It is a quieter time, a period of preparation for the coming winter…a great time to write!

What inspired you to write this story:

Bernie is a bizarre character who appeared in my first story submitted during my MFA program. I put him away in the closet for several years until looking back through old stories I discovered him again and was intrigued. The addition of Bertie made a complete set, and, I hope, an entertaining story.

Giveaway:

Enter to win a $50 Amazon (US) or Barnes and Noble Gift Card

Enter to win a $50 Amazon (US) or Barnes and Noble Gift Card

Enter to win a $25 Amazon (US) or Barnes and Noble Gift Card

Enter to win a $15 Amazon (US) or Barnes and Noble Gift Card

Enter to win a $10 Amazon (US) or Barnes and Noble Gift Card

Open internationally.

Runs September 1 – 30.

Drawing will be held on October 1.


Author Biography:

A native Tar Heel, Mike Owens obtained his undergraduate and medical degrees from the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, NC, and later, an MFA in creative writing from Old Dominion University in Norfolk, VA, where he now resides. His topics in fiction vary widely, ranging from science themes to end-of-life issues to erotica…go figure! His new release, Bernie & Bertie (Serial Killers Need Love Too) is a romantic comedy featuring two—you guessed it—serial killers who meet, fall in love, and form one of the deadliest duos ever.

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