Title: Hooking Captain Teeth
Author: Marilyn Barr
Genre: Monster Romance
Book Blurb:
Captain Teeth
Orders—giving them, writing them, signing for them, and taking them—fill a Captain’s life. I miss the days when I climbed under skirts while on land and climbed the ratlines after we weighed anchor. The black spot on my pirate heart is due to my failure to find my lady love despite scouring the Caribbean for years. I’ve watched me hearties fall in love and drop from the sweet trade like flies, but this voyage to drop off my Quartermaster with his new bride in Mexico may break me…
Sabrina
Why shouldn’t I partake in the fancies of the human world when I sprout legs once a month? Swilling rum, dancing on tables, singing bawdy songs, and sampling every scallywag who catches my eye is harmless fun. I tell myself my behavior is entertainment…not to forget my soulmate who abandoned me five years ago at Maude’s Tavern. After a night of passion, he flipped a doubloon onto the sheets and sailed away. I can’t believe the scourge of the seven seas mistook his lady love for a common strumpet! My kind mates for life so if I ever see him again, I’ll sink him and his ship.
Nobody humiliates a Kraken.
Excerpt:
“Tonight’s not the night for a delicate flower to swindle drinks from pirates,” a drunken pirate whispers in my ear.
“What if this flower isn’t so delicate?” I ask with a flutter of my eyelashes. He’s missing a few teeth, replaced with metal crowns. Otherwise, they’re as clean as his slightly yellow fingernails. Truth be told I could snap this guy in half with one of my tentacles. Who’s he calling a flower? If it weren’t the full moon, I’d drag him to the bottom of the ocean and drown him before he knew what happened.
“Patricia’s Wish docked this morning. Her Captains are a she-devil and her consort. The crew is a hoard of demons. Any one of them would ruin you,” he says, rubbing a proprietary hand down my back.
“How do you know I’m not one of those demons?” I toss back the end of my drink in one swallow.
To come to my rescue, Madam Maude plays a livelier tune and the real tavern girls clamor onto the stage to dance. Their singing resembles the alley cats marooned by the ships docking on this island, but it’s catchy enough. I use my drunken date as leverage to climb on top of it. With a salute to Maude, I lift my skirts to my knees and dance along. My hem flies over my sailor’s head to give him a glimpse of my thighs.
There’s one she-devil in this bar and she’s me.
I’ve leaped and tapped halfway around the room when a crew of pirates burst through the doors. Their leader has shiny, clean brown hair framing cold, grey eyes. His hands are red from scrubbing. Ship’s doctor, if I had to guess. Behind him, other crewmen flood in without a care in the world. They are ratline climbers, deck scrubbers, gunners, or other disposable men, based on their dependence on the doctor to scout out the bar for danger.
Last through the swinging doors is a man with the whitest smile I’ve ever seen. Crystalline blue eyes clearer than the Caribbean sea sparkle at me. The crooked hook of his nose mars the perfection of an otherwise statue-worthy face. Tall, strong, and encased in worn leather, he’s built like a ratline climber but wealthier. He scans the crowd like a seasoned pirate too.
I’m blinded by lust and momentarily lose my footing. The heel of my tattered boot lodges between two planks on the table. My ankle screams as it twists with my momentum. Arms pinwheeling, my weight swings over the edge of the table. The sticky grog-soaked floor rushes toward my face as I prepare for impact.
I thump into the strong arms of the handsome pirate whose boots are the size of boats. My hair brushes over their metal tips and tangles in the leather laces crisscrossed up his shins. Two long, clean fingers press into the side of my breast, sending lava through my veins. He’s missing the middle and ring finger at the base knuckle.
“Caught me a doxie,” the handsome man yells to the crowd who laughs and cheers in response. His deep timbre rattles my bones and spreads goose-pimples over my flesh. The cold, bare flesh of my arse exposed to the room! I fight the hem of my skirts that flipped to my shoulders during my fall. His arm supports my weight at the waist while his hand fists my skirts to keep them up. His other hand spanks me, hard. The crack rings out over the chorus of laughter. My face heats with embarrassment. I’m not drunk enough to flash the crowd!
“Unhand me, you scoundrel,” I yell upside-down, earning myself a second swat. My cocktail threatens to come up again as I spin upright. I wobble as he sets me back on the table where I fell. I should smack him.
Why am I aroused by this handsome man who can handle me like a tiny fairy, but chooses to degrade me by spanking me in public? Men like him threaten my independence and right to a night of fun each month. He’s the type of pirate everyone is afraid I will meet. Did they know I’d be drawn to him like a moth to a flame?
“There we go,” he says with another pat on my behind. Thankfully, this time my skirts block his contact. “Back to work, wench.”
The smartest course would be to dance away from him and back to the condescending sailor who smelled nice. I’m too bright to be swayed by a pretty smile…a smile without a hint of rot…and perfectly manicured nails…all seven of them as clean as his smile. As my eyes search him for flaws, he runs the four fingers of his left hand through his mane of golden hair. Both his middle fingers are missing. I’m blasted with the scent of soap, gunpowder, boat tar, and an ocean breeze.
A flirty remark dies on my tongue as he adjusts himself through the crotch of his leather pants. Nope. Too much. Too uncouth, too vulgar, too smarmy, too much for a part-time human, like me. He’s as shameless as me but with twice the firepower. Not gracing him with another second of my attention, I twirl and dance along the table to the opposite end. I kick and tap to the beat with my skirts swishing above my knees for mediocre sailors, stealing furtive glances at the handsome man and his table of rowdy friends.
All the while, the handsome pirate watches me from his corner.
Buy Links (including Goodreads and BookBub):
If you could dress up as anything or anyone this Halloween, what or who would it be and why?
My fourteen-year-old son is in charge of our family’s costumes. In the last few years, he has used the opportunity to attempt to convince us to get a dog (not happening.) We’ve been yodelers with a St. Bernard, and Cruella Di Ville with her Dalmatians, but this year we will be huskies who drag around a manikin on a sleigh. I can’t wait until trick or treat when we give out candy in the forest. How many parents will we scare when they discover it’s a manikin at the reins? While my son isn’t getting a dog until he moves out, (we rescue shelter cats, and I’m terrified of dogs) I must applaud his creativity.
Explain why your featured book is a treat to read:
Hooking Captain Teeth is a steamy standalone romance in the Walk the Walk pirate romance series and the Monster Brides series. Fans of Walk the Walk love Teeth the Handsome Himbo and longed for him to find his lady love. However, he found her years ago but didn’t have the maturity or brainpower to recognize who he took to bed. Mistaking your fated mate for a common strumpet—and leaving her a tip—wouldn’t be so bad if not for the curse on the pirates of Patricia’s Wish. They never fall in love with the blushing sweethearts and virginal Governor’s daughters on the mainland but rather attract women who are…other. From Captain Branko’s Vampiress, to Quartermaster Chub’s Spiderlady, the crew knows never to mess with a lady who loves them…everyone but Teeth. A scorned kraken shifter hunts the boat--not for love but for revenge…
Giveaway –
One lucky reader will win a $100 Amazon gift card.
Open internationally.
Runs October 1 – 31, 2024
Drawing will be held on November 1, 2024.
Author Biography:
Marilyn Barr lives in the wilds of Kentucky with her husband, son, and rescue cats. She loves to place monstrous characters with hearts of gold in page-turning adventures and her historical, paranormal romances have won the Crowned Heart Award, 2nd place in National Excellence in Story Telling (NEST) Contest, Imadjinn Award for Best Paranormal Romance, and Grand Finalist for the InD’Tale Magazine’s RONE Award. When engaging in the real world, you can find her with the Kentuckiana Romance Writers, cheering her son’s Special Olympics teams, or dancing around her kitchen.
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