Title: THE PRIME CRONE’S LEGACY
Author: J.B. Dane
Genre: Fantasy mystery comedy short story
Book Blurb:
The things that a guy has to deal with when he’s stationed at the top of the world working in the family business: Santa Corp. Though who thought one of them was to deal with a creature that the Odinian Accords claim is the Claus family's problem!
Excerpt:
It was big. It was ugly. It was ticked off. And I couldn’t remember much more about it when I woke in a tangled mass of sheets determined to strangle me.
The cause had to have been dinner. Some weird concoction with what looked like overgrown tadpoles in it. I understand the elves in the kitchen wanting to supply some variety, but if it had been possible, I would have skipped the Tad Stew. It was a tad too much in the opposite direction from appetizing. Unfortunately, I’d lost track of time and it had been the only thing left on the dinner menu by the time I hit the dining room. The result had been…well, bad.
I hadn’t dreamt of monsters since I was five or six. Considering I crested thirty a few birthdays back, it had been awhile since my last nightmare. Oddly enough, I acted the same in it as when I was a kid. Frozen in place rather than taking flight. At least it was brief and there had only been one monster. One was more than enough.
Not that I intended to mention it to anyone. It was over. It was done with.
So, I was really irritated when the dream returned. When I recognized the setting, rather than wait around to see if the thing showed, this time I bolted awake and grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniel’s.
Talk about a meal staying with you!
It wasn’t until I went through a door in desperate need of hinge oiling that I remembered that there had been sound effects. Not just those whimpering ones I’m embarrassed to admit I might have made, but something’s roar. Had sounded like a combination of whistles, screeches, and the whine of a dying merry-go-round’s soundtrack. Oh, yes, and squeaky hinges.
I needed to outlaw whatever had gone into that tadpole concoction from all future North Pole menus, but then I forgot about it as I dealt with the normal day-to-day activity at Santa Corp.
In fact, I was considering a blip down to Montreal or Toronto for a much better dinner when the door swung open, and an unexpected visitor stepped into the room.
Her movements were heaven to watch, but the expression on her face was irritated. Since she was a dark elf, tall and trained for combat, I didn’t make any sudden moves.
“North Pole, we have a problem,” she announced through gritted teeth and planted her palms on my desk. She leaned forward. It was a nice stance. Tat’ana had unlaced a generous bit of her shirt, probably because it was Spring and even this far north things were warming up. We were above zero, though just barely. At the Pole, that’s balmy.
The jerkin – she favored medieval forest gear -- gapped, drawing my eyes from her face, though it was a quite lovely face. But then so was the…
She growled, a sound with which I was quite familiar. “Nicky.”
Buy Link:
Just at Amazon Kindle getbook.at/PrimeCrone
Author Biography:
Usually, J.B. Dane shows up here at N.N. Light’s Book Heaven as the author of The Raven Tales, an urban fantasy PI mystery comedy novel series but she also writes shorter fantasy fiction, many tales of which have appeared in anthologies, particularly her Nick Claus, North Pole Security stories. While the first story took place in December, the anthology this particular story appeared in wanted stories set in the Spring. But they also wanted Nick back and a monster to deal with. Say, what? Our intrepid author was up to the challenge though and trying for a very bad “pinecone” reference with “Prime Crone”. No pinecones were harmed in this story. Mostly because the geographical North Pole has no trees – it’s an ice sheet—so none appear in it either.
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